As I sit here on the eve of 2018, two whiskeys deep, I feel so compelled to write about the year that was. But where to start…….maybe at the start…..
This time last year I was heavily pregnant, camping in the back of hubby’s van, surrounded by very drunk party-goers. And I was so happy. The prospect of a new bubba – the last piece in our family puzzle – on the horizon. Little did I know that Jamie’s entrance would be so early, so dramatic and oh so terrifying. When I think back to that horrible day all I remember is my terror at the thought of losing my precious baby. At no point did I have any concern for my own safety. It’s one moment I will always remember as an example of how, as a mother, nothing means more to you than the safety of your children. Have you seen that scene in The Walking Dead where the mum has her baby cut from her stomach, knowing it’ll be the end of her? I get it now.
So Jamie arrived and suddenly our threesome was an awesome foursome except number four was stuck in an incubator in the hospital for weeks and weeks. What followed are some of the darkest moments I can remember. But I’m not going to dwell on those moments. I’ve been asked so many times how we coped – we coped because we had to. In situations like that you just put one foot in front of the other, break it down in to moments, and deal with one moment at a time. And before you know it you’re out the other side, looking back on some really shit times!
Then it was time to bring Jamie home and we really felt our little family was complete. Mostly because we realised how freaking hard having two kids was – the thought of having a third was terrifying! Still is! Having one kids is freaking hard. The sleeplessness you feel in your bones, the lack of time for yourself, this tiny little baby who depends on you for everything – we’ll having two is a different kind of hard. While you don’t have so much of the “I have no idea what I’m doing” terror – you have even less sleep, even less down time and even less time to yourself/selves. Life revolves more than ever around “the kids”.
We’ve had some really cool times and we’ve had challenges. I managed to breastfeed Jamie for 9 months which was so much more than I ever hoped. Jamie and Lockie’s bond has grown every day – they are virtually inseparable now, although they require constant refereeing. The house renos are progressing – slowly. And I’ve had 10 and a half months off on maternity leave and we haven’t filed for bankruptcy. Oh and I started another business with my Mum. That last one came way out of left field and wasn’t at all on the cards but it happened and it’s super exciting. (Check out B&W Safety if you’re interested.)
I also made some amazing new friends this year – both in person and online. I’ve met some of the coolest mamas and reconnected with some old friends – there’s something about surrounding yourself with good people that is just so good for the soul. If any of you are reading this, you know who you are, thank you for your love and support.
But the biggest thank you to my partner in crime, Mr. Mac. I can’t even imagine how this year has been for him – starting out with a pregnant wife (I’m soooo much fun when I’m pregnant 😂), the drama of Jamie’s birth and then picking up the slack when we started the new business and suddenly my maternity leave involved working until all hours of the night. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, babe (although I doubt you’re reading this, ha ha!)
It might be the third whiskey talking but I really think 2018 is going to be an amazing year. Is there anything better than having a clean slate, a whole year stretching out ahead with so many good things to come? I have goals and resolutions – of course I do – but I’ll save those for another day. For now I’m going to finish this drink, pour another, get these kids in to bed and watch some TV and have the very best, lamest New Years Eve ever. Cheers!