I’ve been a bit quiet over here of late. Life is doing that thing it does when it doesn’t rain, instead it pours!
In the last few months I’ve started another new business, we’ve been flat out renovating the kitchen and living spaces, we’ve had some serious illness in the family, the baby has been sick/teething/sick again for months, the toddler doesn’t seem capable of sleeping through the night, I’ve started a new job…. you get the picture. So the house of Mac has been in survival mood. Far too many takeaways, skipped baths, cartoons on the telly. And with all of that, comes the “mum guilts”. I seem to be working non-stop at the moment, leaving less and less time for my three boys.
I’ve been getting even better at multitasking and I never drive anywhere without making a call to catch up with mum, book/cancel appointments, or listening to a podcast. Yesterday was an episode of Amy Porterfield’s, Online Marketing Made Easy, and her guest said something that really resonated with me. The guest’s name was Rachel Hollis and the episode was all around the “dos and don’ts for entrepreneurs in the making.” (You can find the episode here: www.amyporterfield.com/2018/04/205)
Rachel spoke of “mom (mum) guilt” and how truly pointless it is. She said:
What if you are exactly the mother they are supposed to have? What if you are exactly the wife that he is supposed to be partnered with? What if you are exactly who you are supposed to be and you are wasting this energy fighting yourself on all the things that you’re not?
And I really started to think: what if my boys are meant to be raised by a working mum, to see me building businesses and taking leaps into the unknown? And what if my husband is meant to be half of a team that works hard outside of the home as well as in it, stepping up and taking on more of the parenting duties, because I need to be working at that time? This new outlook kind of blew my mind a little.
Maybe it’s wishful thinking (or clutching at straws!) but I had never considered that I might not be “stretched too thin” or “trying to do too much”. Maybe I am doing exactly what I am meant to be doing right now.
She also said something else that struck a chord:
“guilt doesn’t serve me in any way. And that guilt doesn’t serve my children in any way. It actually just makes things worse because now, in that time that I am spending with them, I’m beating myself up. Or I’m thinking that I’m not enough.”
So “mum guilt” be gone!!!! This mama doesn’t have the time or energy for you. I’ll be over here, being an awesome mum, a kick-ass wife AND working my butt off building a career I truly love!
Have you ever suffered from “mum guilt”? How do you manage the feelings of inadequacy?