We’re having another baby. In 12 weeks (give or take). Shit. How did that happen? Let’s rewind…
If you’ve been following for a while you’ll know that baby number 1 hit me for six. I love the kid more than life itself but natural mum, I am not. I’m an only child and in the heady, pre-child days, when the world was our oyster, I wanted four kids. I wanted to create my very own big family. Then we had our wee Baby Mac and boy did I get a reality check. Parenting is by far, hands down, without a doubt, the hardest thing I have ever done.
As Baby Mac became Toddler Mac, the questions came thick and fast, “when are you having number two?” Mr Mac and I discussed it at length, did we want another? Could we handle another? We frequently swapped the for and against roles, never really coming up with an answer. Then one day I started to feel a little….off. I recognised the feeling – but I couldn’t be. Could I? With a simple wee on a stick, a week before my period was even due, we found out we were up the duff again.
From the very start, this pregnancy was so different. First time round there was tracking ovulation, loads of pee sticks, a big moment when I told Mr. Mac the incredible news, excitement, anticipation, Googling, reading, endless vomiting and naps on demand. This time around the moment was me yelling “babe….” from the toilet and holding up the pee stick, much to Mr. Mac’s shock. There was excitement, for sure, but also an added hint of, “can we really do it again?” And I felt great – full of energy and health. I put it down to my ketogenic diet – I was fit, healthy and full of beans. Then 2 weeks later the nausea hit like a tonne of bricks, just like the first time. Only this time there wasn’t nearly as much vomiting just an all day hangover type nausea – not always resulting in a puke, but bad enough to make me feel like I wanted to curl up in a ball and stay there. Only with a toddler to care for, there was far less napping and far too much guilt on how much ‘screen time’ the little monkey was getting.
I started to show much quicker. I felt as big as a house so early on. The morning sickness started to ease at around 16 weeks – first time round it hung around like a bad smell almost to my due date. But at 27 weeks I already weighed the same as I did full term with Baby Mac.
Now I’ve reached the third trimester and I’m exhausted all the time. I’m nervous about how I’m going to split my time between two munchkins. How do you love two babes, with all your heart, when you only have the one? I’m worried about how the toddler will adjust. How will we adjust to life with a newborn again? Things are just getting more simple – no bottles, no nappies, consistently sleeping through the night – now we’re starting from scratch again.
But we’re also going to be welcoming a whole new person in to our family. I’m going to see my little boy as a big brother. I’m going to see first hand the way siblings grow together – as an only child, that’s pretty exciting. I’m going to get to know a whole new little personality, a whole new Baby Mac. That new baby smell, the gorgeous giggles and first gummy smiles. The teeny little baby clothes and the snuggles – oh, the lovely new baby snuggles. You know what? I think everything is going to be all right ♡