We are coming to the end of day 2 of working with our baby sleep consultant on ‘the plan’. I have been reflecting a lot lately on how we got to where we are, with the multitude of sleep ‘issues’ we have. I have been chatting to lots of other Mums too, listening to their experiences and stories. I bumped in to my cousin, also a new mummy, in the supermarket today – we did the awkward ‘pull over to the side and try and have a conversation while others shop around us and we stand in their way’ and she said something that really stuck with me: “it’s got nothing to do with you, it’s all about him.” Suddenly I realised that all this time I had been blaming myself for everything – surely I had done something wrong to get to where we were. But maybe, just maybe, this was just part of our little guy growing up and learning how to sleep through the night.
But enough of the deep and meaningful pondering: next in the “waaah, poor me – I’m so sleep deprived” series is a lighthearted look at:
The Casualties of Sleep Deprivation
1. Healthy Eating
So it’s no secret that I am struggling to lose the baby bulge but healthy eating just seems like way to much hard work right now. If it’s not virtually instant I don’t want to know. Cheese and crackers (and a big slosh of wine) for dinner? Why not! Takeaways again? Don’t mind if I do! Meal prep? Who the heck has time for that?
A while ago I signed up for boot camp with a bubbly blonde, Hayley of Hailstorm Fitness. I had every intension of getting up at 5:30am three mornings a week, to train in the frosty darkness of New Zealand winter – I really did! But when you’re dragging yourself in to bed at 4am after spending the last 4 hours trying to settle a bright eyed and bushy tailed toddler, I think you can be forgiven for hitting the ‘eff off’ button on your alarm. Exercise is simply not on the agenda right now.
3. Make Up, Perfectly Straightened Hair, Ironed Clothes, Matching Clothes!
Once upon a time I would never had considered leaving the house without being at least partially made up: foundation, eyeliner and mascara at the bare minimum. Being seen with frizzy, kinky hair would have made me severely uncomfortable. But today? I’m lucky if I make it to work with matching shoes and snot free pants. I don’t know how many times I’ve left the supermarket only to notice a shiny patch on my shoulder – like some kind of shimmering snail trail of toddler snot. The iron is gathering dust and I’ve given up on eye make up all together – less likely to end up looking like a panda as I never know when I’m going to burst in to floods of tears. Sleep deprivation is not pretty!
4. Sexy Time
(I know my mother-in-law reads this so block your ears, Maris!) Why oh why, dear darling, would I want to do ‘that’ when ‘that’ is how we got in to this mess in the first place? Ok, so it’s not quite that bad but really, if I’m in bed you better let me sleep or there’ll be trouble!
Now I’m not saying I’ve lost friends over my little man’s lack of sleep but I have become very selfish. I have amazing friends, many of them mums, and they have been so incredibly supportive. I have had more lovely text messages than I can count. From links to articles that may help to simply ‘thinking of you’ – 3 words that can bring a smile to my face or have me weeping on to my phone screen, depending on which way the wind is blowing. And how do I respond? Well, often I don’t. And you know what? I know that my friends won’t be offended. They all know what I am going through and that I’m in my own little bubble (as one of them described it this week) but they also know it’s not for ever. When the bubble pops they will be waiting there with a bottle of vino. Or two.
What’s the first casualty in your life when things get tough?